Moving Forward after a Breakup

Have you ever had a relationship that didn't turn out well? I think that over the years we have all had those types of experiences.  I certainly have.  I’ve receive a lot of questions regarding moving forward after a relationship and thought it was time I wrote about it. First of all I want you to know that if you are not with the right person, then move on. You DESERVE to be with someone who knows that you are a Goddess and treats you accordingly.

You can't see it, but I am shaking my finger back and forth as I say this! -  If they don't cherish you like the Goddess you are, then they need to go!

Cleansing your Space and Personal Energy
First, it’s always a good idea to "smudge" your home and yourself after you breakup with someone. Doing so clears their energy pattern from your space. Don't know how to smudge?  You can come up with your own words, but saying goodbye to your ex-s energy in a loving way is what I have done. Wish them well as they leave your space. Want more information? Click Here for a Complete Smudging Ceremony and more excerpts from the Smudging for Beginners: Secrets from a Professional. From experience, I can tell you that when you're finished, you space feels good, clean and upbeat. 

Types of Break Ups
Before I explain the types of relationships and the best course of action, let me begin by saying that I'm sorry that things didn't work out well for you and that I empathize with you. I was with someone for several years and it is difficult at times to imagine life without them, even though I know the breakup was for the best.

We’ve Grown Apart
If you’re in a relationship where you’ve grown apart, staying together may keep both of you from experiencing the life you were meant to lead. Whether it’s you, your partner, or both of you that have mutually decided to move on, you should be able to speak rationally to each other about the health of your relationship and come to an amiable parting.

You may remain in contact or maybe you won’t. Regardless, even with the most cordial of breakups either one or both of you may feel hurt. Take time to heal before getting into a new relationship. As I've said before, even with the healthiest of past relationships we take away at least one suitcase full of issues with us when we depart. And no, I don’t care if your luggage is Louie Vuitton, it's still baggage sweetie. Take time to resolve those issues.

It’s true that time does heal all wounds. As we work on ourselves, the hurt from that relationship fades allowing us to move forward with our lives. Work on understanding the lessons from that relationship as you recall the good times; and don't let the negative consume you.

The Never Ending Blemish
Have you ever had an ex-partner who just could not let go of the relationship, keeping it alive by whatever means possible? Perhaps some of you have. Whether you are on good terms with them or not, know that by doing so, it’s their way to stay in your energy field. These ex-partners are like annoying blemishes on your face that just don’t seem to fade. Even when you ignore them, they just don't won't to go away.  Saying the following non-threatening phrase to them, may help get them walking in a direction outside your space.

“You were one of my greatest life lessons. I’ve integrated and moved forward. I pray that you can do the same.”

The Stalker or Abuser
The above statement won’t work if you were stuck in a relationship where the thought of leaving your partner frightens you. Why? Because trying to speak to an irrational sociopath does no good. You know the type, at first they’re incredibly sensitive and attentive, but when you move in together you get a glimpse of the real person and well, it’s not pretty. You end up walking on eggshells because you never know what will set them off next.

Sure, you can get a restraining or protection order, but that does not provide any guarantee. They may ignore it and the police may do nothing to enforce it.  If you’re with someone who’s not happy unless they’re inflicting pain and control over you, then there are 3 things to do:
  1. Seek assistance. No one should have to endure domestic violence. You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 and visit, a state-by-state directory of domestic violence shelters in the U.S.
  2. Write them a goodbye note wishing them well on their journey. In the letter, tell them that you need to move on. Don't send the note but burn it, as you imagine seeing the back of their head as they walk away from you.
  3. Spend time working with a counselor. No matter what your means, there are many resources to help you get through this, stand up for yourself in a way that does not bring harm upon you and move forward. 
No matter your circumstances, know that you have options, You are a being full of love and no one should have to endure a relationship that is not for their highest good. Moving forward after a break up is an opportunity to write a new chapter in your life. Who knows, it just may be the BEST chapter, thus far.

LeeZa Donatella

Links of items I enjoy, that you may find useful 
Berkey Water Filter  The only filter I've found that removes fluoride from drinking water. We filter fluoride from our drinking water to decalcify our pineal gland to connect to increase our spiritual awareness. (article on the Pineal Gland)
Spiritual Guide Incense I love this incense that gets me into the zone. 
My Books Available on Amazon

Other authors books that have helped me on my journey.
The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz
The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield
The Essential Rumi  by Jalal al-Din Rumi

Leeza Donatella is an author, speaker and teacher