As I continue to write and lecture, I'm constantly provided with material and relish those opportunities where I can provide guidance to all of you with insights when faced with situations for teaching or growth.
A recent example was at a professionals social group I attended where we all enjoyed dinner. Toward the end of the evening while I spoke to a gal for about 2 minutes about mastering my unruly curly hair, she turned to a gentleman in the group who was within earshot and apologized for my topic spouting how bored he must be listening.
At first I raised my eyebrow but did not verbally react when I realized that this woman whom I hardly knew just discounted me. I analyzed her comment looking for its root cause. When someone discounts others the inappropriate behavior is not really directed at you but stems from their own feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. You can however use the experience to realize and release a potential trigger point within yourself. You see the two most common trigger reactions when faced with the personality I call the discounter is either to immediately react with anger or shrivel up, thinking less of yourself, worried about contributing.
Because I believe that we collectively engage in agreed upon situations before our arrival, perhaps I needed the experience of the discounter. Even people with the most advanced degrees feel inferior to others, projecting their own feelings of inferiority on those around them. Being a secure person I have no hangups about discussing any topic with anyone at anytime and perhaps this woman needed this experience to help her realize her own self-worth and intelligence. With years of providing guidance to people as they move forward I only had compassion for this woman, even offering her my hand in assistance when she rose from the table. Maybe my example and non-reaction will provide her with insight in future.
It's when we first take the time to understand the situation that we can have the appropriate reaction. And I'm proud of myself and my clients who strive toward mastering a compassionate reaction relative to the situation.
