Becoming Whole to Find Love
It’s February and once again everyone is thinking about LOVE; it’s in the air and in our minds as we get closer to Valentine’s Day. Today I want to speak to you about wholeness and love, more specifically romantic relationships.
What is wholeness, you ask? Well, I believe that to have a healthy relationship you have to be whole.
Have you ever heard the term, two halves do not make a whole? So often we see or hear about two incomplete people coming together. They are both searching for completion and believe that they will find it in the other person. Well let me quote Harrison Ford from Seven Days, Seven Nights that he starred in with Anne Heche and David Schwimmer: "It's an island, babe. If you didn't bring it here, you won't find it here."
I cringe when think about the scene in Jerry Mcguire, when Tom Cruise said to Renee Zellweger “You complete me.” Oh, yes, I still sighed as a tear rolled down my cheek, like most women did while I watched that scene in the movie, but I was sighing at a terrific performance as Tom made us all feel.
Don't look for completion in someone else. As a matter of fact most relationships that begin with two halves searching for completeness end, badly. Why? Because you cannot find completeness outside yourself. A wise friend of mine, Michael, said it best as he referred to two halves as two dysfunctional people. When he first said that I was taken aback. What was he talking about? Eventually I understood what he was saying.
We all have opportunities for growth to work at in our life including healing from a recent breakup. If you have just gotten out of a relationship, until you take time to heal, it’s really a horrible idea to get into another one. It may just be like going from the frying pan into the fire. Over the course of my life I have jumped into the fire once or twice myself. With a few more years under my belt I try to be a little wiser. How many of you have done that: okay, now raise your hands. Now put them down and don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes we have to play a karmic dance in order to let go and grow.
Let me just leave you with a little advice:
Don’t look outside yourself for completeness. Look within and find yourself first to become that whole person. When you work on yourself, identifying those buried issues long since forgotten but not released, and take steps to forgive and release them, wholeness comes. Only then will you attract and accept another whole being. And when two wholes come together it’s magic. Separately they are both strong, but together they vibrate at such a high level that is GREATER than their sum.
Have a day filled with the love of the most important being in your life – YOU.