How to Attract Your Soulmate, Your One True Love

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I was traveling abroad making appearances and in one week alone I had been asked almost a dozen times several questions about soul mates like, "How do I attract my soulmate?, How to I find my soul mate?, Do soul mates really exist? Why can't I find my soul mate?  How can I have true love? How do I manifest a good man?" and my favorite, "Can I smudge for a husband."

What I discovered is that people are similar no matter where they come from.  Everyone wants to find that special once in a lifetime true love that transcends time and space. Do you blame them? Because it seems to be the theme, I thought it was time that I shared with all of you a couple of tidbits about soul mates and soul connections including the definition of a soul mate, what a soul mate is not, the purpose of soul connections and a 3 step process to attract that soul mate, your one true love faster than you can say, ‘well hello there.’  

Before I give you the formula about how to attract your soulmate, let me give you a little soulmate education.


What is a Soulmate?
The first thing you need to do is know what a soulmate actually is. It's my understanding that we all are part of a particular soul family. A good example is likening your soul family to an extended family of about 250-2000 relatives, except your soul family is so much bigger with each one being considered a soul mate.

 How can you recognize a Soul Mate?
You recognize your soul family by the instant connection you share. A soul mate can be either male or female and can be the same sex or the opposite sex to your own. 

A perfect example of a soul mate connection that I experienced was when I was traveling abroad and a Middle Eastern women and I met by accident and instantly connected.  We spent several hours speaking in English, then all of a sudden she started speaking to me in Farsi. She looked at me sideways when I didn't respond.  I nonchalantly said, “You do know that I have no idea what you are saying.”  She apologized and we both got a big laugh as it happened several times again before we made our farewells for the evening. 

Not all soul mates are Created Equal 
I say this in jest, but I often get the question, “I thought a Soul Mate was my Life Long Partner, My True Love? If he was my soul mate, why did he hurt me?” 
Not all the soul mates we meet are intended for a long lasting physical relationship. It can be confusing when we meet one of our soul brothers or sisters because our work together is not always apparent, especially when we feel that instant connection and attraction. With thousands of your soul family members floating around, each of them we meet serves a purpose and we need to be open to doing the work we agreed to with them which may not necessarily be a physical relationship. We meet these people because we have both made some cosmic agreement long ago, that we would play out some experience with them, help them on their way, complete a karmic dance together, learn and grow from each other.  
So no darling, you're not supposed to marry every soul mate you meet!

But even knowing what I have just explained, does not make it any easier when you meet someone with whom you share an instant attraction; who wears their soul at the tips of their amazing crystal blue eyes. As hard as you try not to look into them, you do and you start to fall. So for Pete's sake try and STOP. Pull yourself together as you get up and think sensibly before the dance becomes something it shouldn't. And if that tango lasts too long and leads to a dip or two as you cross the boundary with a soul mate whose purpose may not be to marry, don't beat yourself up. It has happened to the best of us, as we're tickled by that intense connective energy throughout our lifetime. Just brush yourself off, chalk it up to experience, learn something from the encounter and continue to move forward.
Attracting Your One True Love
Yes, there will be soul mates that we meet that we can fall in love and live together for a long period in this physical lifetime.  So if I can have many soul mates how do I know who my one true love is? If you're looking for long lasting true love, then you're you may be seeking the soul mates closest to something people call a twin flame. Imagine someone who can finish your sentences, where you can't tell where you end and where they begin, your hearts almost beat as one unit. Now you're describing soul mates close to your twin flame. 

 So, you want to put out to the universe the signal that you’re ready to meet that ideal mate, that person with whom you’ll share long hours gazing into each other’s eyes, kisses as sweet and soft as the ripest peach and shared smiles that melt glaciers. 

Attract your soulmate in 3 easy steps:

1. Write a list with each quality you want in a mate and prioritize your list.

  • Be as specific as possible.  For example, I may put on my list each physical characteristics that I am seeking, like He has blue eyes, He speaks with an European accent. I would emphasize his values and qualities like, He is generous, He is kind, He volunteers and helps others, He supports my dreams and career goals. And honey, I will not call you a picky bitch if your list has over 200 items. That's perfectly okay. You have to know what you want to get it. So love yourself enough not to settle for a shell of a partner, crumbs that are so much less than you deserve! This is your list, your dream, you shout out to the universe. 
  • Make sure to write everything as a positive, since the Universe does not distinguish negatives. For example, if you don't want a man who sits on the couch every weekend watching football, you might say something like, We spend every weekend together exploring new hiking trails, festivals and antique stores.
  • After the list is complete, organize it in the order of what is most important to you. For example, I would categorize an item like, I find him so incredible attractive as more important than, He is neat and tidy all the time, putting his things away after using them.

2. PUT THE LIST AWAY

That’s right, you heard me; put the list away and forget about it. Print it out, fold it up, put it in an old shoebox and put it in the back of your closet for all I care, just put it away!  Why? because, you wrote the list and put in your request to the Universe. You even spent the time making sure that the Universe knows what's most important to you by ordering your list. You've done your part by completing the important step asking for exactly what you want. And let me tell you, the Universe ALWAYS delivers. So, don't obsess over it like a child in the backseat asking mom and dad, "Are we there yet?" and move to the next step, because it's MORE important than creating the list in the first place.

3. WORK ON YOU

You just described the god or goddess you want to meet. This is your McDreamy. So what happens when they meet the Mr. or Ms. desperately seeking anyone that you are today?  Come on now, your McDreamy also wants a god/goddess, 

 It just makes me sick when I think of that scene in the movie Jerry McGuire where he kneels and says "You complete me." Oh my God, whoever said that two broken halves make a whole is a real jerk!  You won't get a different result in your relationships when 2 dysfunctional incomplete people desperately seek completion in another person.  I'm speaking from experience when I tell you that it's always a recipe for disaster.

 So, brush yourself off while the universe fulfills your order and work on you!  Before you say to someone “in-to-me-see,” (intimacy) first you have to look into yourself and be honest and become whole before dating. 

Forget about the soulmate, just for now, as you work on loving and nurturing yourself:
  • Reality check: You want to be the god or goddess when this amazing person that you requested finds you, You do NOT want to still be toting the same baggage you had from your last failed relationship. Yes, you darling! I could care less if they are Louie Vuitton, honey, it's still baggage, so let go of all that dirty laundry you are still holding onto, those unreleased hurts, worthiness issues, fears and insecurities. Spend time and work on yourself, even if it means that you take a break from dating after a recent breakup. For goodness sake, would it kill you to take time to heal before jumping back in the saddle? If you don't, the next one could potentially be a lot worse than what you just had?  Trust me, working on yourself will make you healthier as well as happier. Your energy will show it, ultimately attracting more quality mates. It’s when we find our inner love that our energy pattern changes, becoming delicious and irresistible to everyone we meet. So educate yourself or seek out a professional to work on the healing you need.
  • Get up an move everyday. By moving we help our cells renew, increasing endorphins that make us both look and feel great. You don't have to be an athlete to move. You can choose walking 30 minutes to an hour a day.
  • Nurture yourself. Go to the spa, pamper your inner god/goddess.
  • Take a class, find a new hobby, learn a language.

Don’t worry, you’ll have YOUR pick of the multitude that will come your way and get good practice in discernment as you graciously turn down suitors that are not that god or goddess that is deserving of you!

 Believe me, the universe will send your one true love when you are ready.  And one day in the not so distant future when you stumble upon that list after you meet that person and realize that they have the plethora of qualities you scribbled on that now slightly worn piece of paper, you'll smile as you think, hey LeeZa Donatella, has some good and cheeky way of helping me move forward.

 Blessings to you all!

 For the lovers of Fifty Shades of Grey, you'll enjoy reading a delicious story about soulmate connections called Beyond the Veil of Illusion - The Awakening, now available on Amazon

All my Books  available on Amazon 

Here are some links to items I enjoy, that you may find useful 
Berkey Water Filter  The only filter I've found that removes fluoride from drinking water. We filter fluoride from our drinking water to decalcify our pineal gland to connect to increase our spiritual awareness. (article on the Pineal Gland)
Spiritual Guide Incense I love this incense that gets me into the zone. 
Other authors books that have helped me on my journey.
The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz
The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield
The Essential Rumi  by Jalal al-Din Rumi
Carlos Castaneda's books

Leeza Donatella is an author, speaker and teacher