I have a lot of people who reach out, overwhelmed with
feelings of guilt. I’m not speaking about the kind of guilt that comes when you
commit a crime and I could write pages about self-imposed guilt, for example, automatically
feeling bad when called into your manager’s office, assuming you have done
something wrong. Today’s article is about the guilt trips that others try and
push on us.
What is a Guilt Trip?
Have you’ve ever been made to feel bad if you did not do
something that you otherwise would not do, then
you have experienced the dreaded guilt trip. This includes doing something when we're not feeling our best, going to places or
events that we know we won’t enjoy as well as associating with people that
you may not want to interact with. And because of the guilt trip we end up caving out of a feeling of obligation.
I've also heard some extreme cases in my time
counseling people, like Susan whose incident struck a chord. Although this
happened over 40 years ago when she was no more than 5, it still
stands out in her mind. It was early one Sunday morning and Susan wasn't
feeling well. She had no temperature, but her head was aching and she told her
mother that she didn’t want to go to services that morning. Her mother swiftly
turned and told this young girl that if she didn't get herself out of bed and
go to services, that she was going to hell.
Speaking to so many adults with similar stories made me realize that what is learned as young children becomes part of our overall belief system that we carry like a tattered handbag throughout our lives.
I can relate to the art of the perfectly placed guilt trip, growing
up in an Italian household. I loved my mother, but the guilt trips, oh my
goodness, they were dished out as frequently as the homemade pasta and sauce
that Italian moms are famous for. For this sensitive kid, it was at times more
than I could handle. This information and more about rising above it all is in my book, The State of Being Love.
And it effected most of my young adult life as I continued to do
things I didn’t enjoy because I was felt obligated to do so because of this guilt trip conditioning that I experienced in early youth.
Doing something that you don’t want to do, well that’s ridiculous. Why should we as adults do things that we know that we won’t enjoy? Yet we're conditioned to impose guilt on ourselves as if the people in our lives, like momma are still standing over us, even when they’re not. Another big factor is that the emotion guilt vibrates much lower than other more pleasant emotions and is far down the list from Love, the emotion with the highest vibration of all
Doing something that you don’t want to do, well that’s ridiculous. Why should we as adults do things that we know that we won’t enjoy? Yet we're conditioned to impose guilt on ourselves as if the people in our lives, like momma are still standing over us, even when they’re not. Another big factor is that the emotion guilt vibrates much lower than other more pleasant emotions and is far down the list from Love, the emotion with the highest vibration of all
What Can You Do?.
Having had plenty of practice with this type of guilt, I decided back about 10 or 15 years ago that I no longer needed this experience. I think I’m old enough
and wise enough to know when I won’t enjoy doing something. And if I am not
going to enjoy something, I just don’t do it, period. And I don't feel one ounce of guilt based on my decision to only do what makes me happy.
If someone attempts to make me feel guilty, I just tell
them, sorry, I don’t do guilt anymore. This may not make me miss popular, but I am definitely miss
happier, vibrating higher as a result.
So the next time someone attempts to guilt trip you,
just smile, say no thanks and walk in the other direction, holding your head
high and vibrating only love.
I hope this article serves you well as you rise above the guilt trip,
LeeZa Donatella
Sites: www.leezadonatella,com
Books: Leeza's Books