Dating: Do not Hide the Real You

Today's topic is about being forthcoming when dating. Many an article I have written in past years has spoken about taking time between relationships, evaluating where you are, and working on yourself. You have all heard me say that 2 halves do not make a whole, but instead are 2 dysfunctional persons trying to complete themselves through another.

But what happens when you are whole, with the strength of a lion, and you happen to be female? Strong women do not need to be with someone, they choose to out of a desire to share incredible life moments. Like some of you strong women who have written to me, I have a past record of being pretty horrible at dating myself, intimidating some potential partners with what I've done.

Should a strong woman be forthcoming on all that they are, risking that most will run the other way?  If they hold back, they may get more dates, but at what compromise?

I recently had dinner with someone who in the middle of the conversation said, “With all that you have accomplished, why do you need someone?” My response was a little flippant as I nonchalantly flicked my hand up in the air, “For the sex, drugs and rock and roll, of course.”  He didn’t understand my quick wit, and asked what drugs I use. I rolled my eyes before putting my hand to my mouth, now having to explain the comment and that I was not a drug user, all the time thinking why did I say yes to this date.

I found myself in quiet contemplation this morning on this subject about being forthcoming.  The answer came in the lyrics of a song from Frozen called Let it Go

Don't let them in, don't let them see,
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know,
Well now they know Let it go, let it go,
Can't hold it back anymore.

You should never hide your true self from the world. 

In dating be yourself, embrace your uniqueness and strength. Potential partners who are intimidated by a strong woman are not the ones that would make for long lasting relationships filled with the substance and depth that your mind and spirit require.  

LeeZa Donatella


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