Let me tell you about a couple of instances where words have made a difference from the positive to the negative. I was with my friend Eileen in Manhattan having an espresso and dessert in a café in Little Italy many years ago. For those who do not know me, I have certain connections that allow me to get information about the people I meet. Next to us were two men, one tall and the other shorter, sitting at the next table speaking within earshot of us. As Eileen and I enjoyed our coffee, I was able to overhear that the shorter man was a film maker and the taller man was perhaps his agent. The agent kept telling the film maker to quit, spewing his negativity that the film maker would never make it. At this point Eileen could hear their conversation and was aware of these men as well. As the agent excused himself to the restroom, I got up and went over the film maker and whispered a few words in his ear before returning to my seat. Shortly thereafter the men left and Eileen turned to me and said, “That man looked like he was going to jump off a bridge and you said a few words and he was beaming with joy from ear to ear. What did you say to him?” “Oh, that? I just told him that he should not listen to his agent and to keep trying and that in 6 months he would catch a break.” “But how did you know?” she pleaded. In the 80’s I was not fully aware of my connection to external spirits, but I knew that there was something that pushed me toward people with information. Unable to explain it to Eileen, I simply responded “I didn’t. I just knew that he needed hope and that I had to give him some." You do not have to have the ability of connecting with universal knowledge to give someone hope. You can make a difference in someones life.
Let me tell you about Barry and Michele. Barry came from a wealthy family and was not as successful as his brothers and sisters when he met Michele. He dropped out of college just prior to graduation, worked in jobs paying meager earnings and filed for bankruptcy before the age of 35. Michele was a successful business woman. After they got engaged, Barry’s mother confided in Michele how happy she was that Barry had found such a financially responsible girl. It was apparent to Michele that Barry’s family did not think very highly of Barry and were afraid he would always squander what money he had and continue past mistakes. Michele was the only one who could see something else and continually encouraged Barry, telling him that he could do anything he set his mind to. It was that confidence and support that aided Barry in accomplishing so much in his career in the first 5 years of their marriage. He was able to triple his salary and has learned restraint on his frivolous spending. Still to this day, Barry’s mother checks in with Michele, asking questions about how Barry’s spending is doing. Michele just smiles. For all the years prior to meeting Michele, Barry was not encouraged or supported by his parents, only compared to their more successful offspring and looked down upon. Michele could only imagine what it was like for Barry growing up being told in some way that he “could not” or was not good enough. Words both positive or negative have a profound effect on people. Like the wife who encourages her husband that he can do anything he puts his mind to while his family believes he is a failure.
Next let me tell you about Angie and Frank. Since she married Frank, Angie put on 35 pounds and when Angie hit 40 years old she had a tough time losing the weight. Angie decided it was time to get serious, so she started to eat better and exercise and went out and bought a sexy dress in a size that would fit her only when she reached her goal weight. It was her incentive dress and she hung it on the closet door as a constant reminder of her goal. Every morning and evening she looked at the dress and was reminded of the end prize. One day Frank turned to her and said that no matter how much weight she lost, she would never fit in that dress. Angie was crushed by the less than encouraging words from someone so close to her. She confronted Frank and his response was simply that he as a "realist." She cried to me saying “He is my husband and is supposed to be there for me, with support, love and encouragement. He knows how serious I am about losing weight and yet, at every turn he is trying to sabotage me and crush my spirit.” For Angie, this was a deal breaker!. She was not going to continue to put herself in a situation where there is no support. At last word, Angie was still losing weight and happy, but the jury was still out on the future of Angie and Franks relationship.
You may ask yourself why people hurt the ones closest to them with words. The answer is that some people get subconscious pleasure from it, like the sadist technique I mention in my post Protect Yourself from Energy Spirit Stealing. Others are so afraid they will lose the person so they materialize that lose by sabotaging the relationship.
Unlike physical abuse these scars are deeper and cause more damage; damage to self esteem as well as relationships. For Barry, the encouragement and support he received from Linda caused him to rise above the negativity he endured from his family. For Angie, Frank’s actions pushed her away and she sought out support groups that is helping her meet her goals.
So often we are provided with the opportunity to give positive reinforcement like hope, support and encouragement to others. That support starts at home with the people in our lives and extends to all we meet..
I hope you enjoyed today’s post. Be of love and Light - Lee